The Beast Within
by Rhiannyx
Summary: Though his appearance may be strong and unyielding, a certain member of the Companions finds himself fallen prey to a girl...but is she really the prey?
1. The 10th of Sun's Height

**A very mushy-gushy love story!  
****There are some spoilers about the end of the Companions quest line...  
****Disclaimer: Bethesda own everything!**

I still remembered the first time I saw him...

* * *

_It was the 10th of Sun's Height. The streets of Whiterun were bustling. A young girl, only about 10, held her mother's hand as they moved through the crowds. Her bright blue eyes stared in awe all around her. She'd waited so long to see the city. Only now had her mother agreed. As they moved to sit under the shade of the Gildergreen, the girl's eyes found what they'd been searching for: Jorrvaskr. Home of the Companions. As she gazed at the great mead hall, the doors opened. A boy emerged, barely older than her, holding a stick. He was swinging it rather wildly. The girl laughed and he looked up. There was a gentle smile on her face, and the boy stared in wonder at her._

* * *

8 years passed from that day, and though I returned to Whiterun ever year, on the 10th of Sun's Height, I never saw him again. Until the day the Companions found me.

Farkas. That was his name. I recognised him from the moment I saw him, but he didn't seem to recognise me. He hardly even looked at me. But then, I was no Nord beauty. I wasn't strong and buxom, with flowing blond hair. I was slight and small, my hair a bright, fiery red. He seemed to avoid me, answering only with short sentences whenever I spoke to him. I knew he wasn't the smartest, but I had hoped my shield-brother would at least seem to care more about me than a flagon of mead.

Now, however, he caught my eye. We all sat in silence, gazing into the dying embers of the fire, when I felt his gaze burning into me. I looked up, into his grey eyes, and felt the spirit of the little, blue-eyed girl that sat beneath the Gildergreen on that 10th of Sun's Height.

* * *

After we had all raised a final mug, saying the words "For Kodlak!", the Companions dispersed. I sat alone, watching the last flame flicker and die.

"He's in a better place now." I gave a start, certain I'd been the only one there. But I recognised the husky baritone and gave a small smile.

Farkas slid into the seat next to me then reached out to brush a lock of hair that had fallen over my face. I shuddered inwardly at his touch, but knew he hadn't meant it that way.

"I always liked your hair, you know, Kat." Farkas sounded hesitant. I surveyed him carefully, knowing he wasn't one for small talk. "I wanted to say: congratulations." He gave a small chuckle. "I never thought that when I first saw you, when we rescued you all those years ago, that you would one day become Harbinger."

I tried my best to smile. His words stung me, though they weren't intended to. Farkas may have looked strong and tough, but he was the most kind-hearted Nord on Tamriel. Yet he couldn't remember the day I cherished as the best one of my life...

"I used to hope I would one day take Kodlak's place, but I guess they don't give that position to people who are scared of spiders." There was no resentment in his voice. He sounded genuinly happy for me. We'd grown close over the last few years, fighting together and sharing flagons of mead. Not to mention the feeling that burned in both our souls...the call of the blood.

"You could have said that in front of everyone. What is it you really want to say?"

Farkas paused. "I was wondering...do you think Kodlak was right? Is this a curse?"

I saw something I'd never seen in his eyes before. Almost like...fear? "I think it's what we make of it. Are you asking me to cure you?"

"No. I mean...not yet." He got to his feet, his hands clenched at his sides. "Can we pretend we never spoke about this?"

I nodded, and watching with a heavy heart as he slouched away.


	2. Too Late to Say Goodbye

"You do realise he doesn't feel the same way?"

I jumped. I had been leaning against a post, watching Farkas as he trained resiliently. I turned to Aela, feeling my cheeks burn.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Aela laughed. "That colour matches your hair. And we aren't all as slow as Farkas. It's obvious how you feel about him. I'm just warning you that he'll never be interested in just one girl. Especially, and no offense, you.

Her words cut through me like a dagger. I knew she was right. Farkas had bedded almost all of Whiterun already...but still.

"When will you be back?" Farkas handed me my sword.

"Oh, it shouldn't take more than 2 days. It's only a few trolls." I replied, smiling.

* * *

2 days passed. Farkas stared out the window, waiting for that glimpse of bright red hair...

* * *

3 days...

* * *

A week...

* * *

_The boy watched the girl walk away and was sure that he would never see a fairer face. So he waited. But then he joined the Circle. And the beast blood that burned within him made his longing for her a desperate need. But he had to stay away. He saw her, every year on that day, beneath the Gildergreen. And every year, he watched from Jorrvaskr. She was so close, yet so far..._

* * *

2 weeks had passed since that red-headed Nord had ridden off, and 2 weeks had not brought her return. Something was wrong.

Farkas knew he had to be fast, and there was only one way to do that...

The great wolf thundered over the across the plains of Whiterun, never stopping, appearing little more than a blur to anyone who saw.

It stopped outside Frost-tooth Cave. Blood lingered on the air, an acrid stench. And then its eyes fell on her.

The deafening howl rent the still air. The beast slumped to the ground beside the small, motionless body of a girl with bright blue eyes and flaming red hair. Although the wolf could smell the delicious scent of her blood, it did nothing but lay beside her. And slowly, the wolfish features faded. Farkas stared at the face he knew so well then at the gashes that had torn apart her clothes and ripped her skin.

"No, Katja, please." He knelt beside her, trying to staunch the blood with his bare hands.

Then, a heavy breathing grew closer. Farkas looked up into the monstrous face of a troll, and rage erupted inside him. He plunged his sword straight through the monster's heart before it could move. It had killed her...

* * *

_The boy ran down the steps towards the girl, but then a voice came from behind, calling him back. The girl watched him slouch away._


	3. Tomb Raider!

"NO, DON'T GO!" The yell escaped my mouth and my eyes flew open. A familiar face was above me, but it was contorted in a look of shock.

"Kat!" Farkas gasped, staring at me. I tried to sit up, but let out a shriek of pain. I remembered the troll racing towards me, remembered the burning pain...then all had gone black.

"I waited for you." I whispered. "For 10 years."

Farkas looked down at me. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I felt a pain clench my heart, but it wasn't from the wounds gouged in my skin. Something hot slid down my cheek.

"Kat, I can't live like this anymore."

I blinked, confused.

"This _is _a curse. I could barely control myself when I found you here, covered in blood. You are so small, so delicate...I could have crushed you." His voice cracked.

I sat up, my face inches from his. "But you didn't."

"I still feel it, even now. I'm a monster. Please, help me."

I looked into his face, stricken with grief and desperation, and nodded.

* * *

Farkas refused to let me walk. He carried me the entire way to Ysgramor's Tomb. I felt more relaxed and comfortable in his strong, warm arms than I should have, but all I could smell was his intoxicating, slightly bitter but slightly sweet scent of sweat and mead. It possessed me.

Farkas' wolf spirit was savage, but not difficult to destroy. I then turned to him, willing myself to ask my next question. "Will you cure me?"

He gave me an uncertain look. "You're sure this is what you want?"

I nodded, holding his gaze resolutely.

And so we returned to Whiterun, both human. I felt, for the first time in ages, tired. I no longer heard the pounding of a heartbeat or the rush of blood. I was free. Yet...I looked at Farkas, and still felt a hunger in me. I yearned for him. If only he would realise.

* * *

Farkas was sent off on a job with Vilkas, though he never completely told me what it was. I watched him leave sadly.

"I thought I told you to get over him?" Aela's voice was in my ears again.

"I don't love him." I wasn't sure if it was a lie or not.

"I hope you don't. Kat, I just want you to let your mind be the boss of you, not your heart. I know how it feels. He's strong and handsome. Skjor was too, once."

I went to bed that night feeling more confused than I ever had. Did I love him? Surely this animal desire was only lust...

Vaermina was a cruel mistress to me. A fitful nightmare plagued my sleep. I was shaking as I awoke, sweat oozing down my face. I gave a start as I saw someone standing at my door. It was Aela. She was ashen white. She met my gaze. She nodded.


	4. It's Never Too Late to Say I Love You

I ran faster than I ever had. In a second, I was outside Farkas' room. I hardly noticed Vilkas, who muttered something like "we were ambushed". My eyes were on the body. His body. I forced my way through the throng and fell to my knees beside Farkas' limp figure. I heard Vilkas mumble something, but I couldn't hear what. I didn't care.

Then I realised it was only me in the room. He must have asked them all to leave. I had no feeling let to be grateful.

Farkas' armour had been removed. He wore only a loincloth, but his entire body was mutated with wounds. I laid my head against his chest, feeling his blood, hot and sticky, beneath me, but not caring. I could feel his breathing, jagged and uneven, beneath his muscular chest. Tears cascaded down my cheeks and I made no attempt to stop them. He was slowly slipping away...

* * *

_The fires lit up the night's sky. The Companions dashed to the small farm that had been set ablaze. Charred bodies were strewn across the ground, almost unrecognisable. But a young boy's eyes fell on the face of a woman. A woman he knew. But that must mean..._

_As the others turned to depart, he ran into the burning house. He was too late, he was sure. But then he heard a faint scream, followed by hacking coughing. Then...nothing. Not caring that the flames that assailed his arms, he tore through the devouring fire to find a girl, motionless but still alive, with flaming red hair and bright blue eyes._

* * *

_Bright blue eyes...the boy grew older, and watched her become a woman before his eyes. He would gaze desperately at her, when she wasn't looking, feeling more than just desire coursing through him._

* * *

_Her bright blue eyes...the boy saw them grow wide and fearful as he turned into his terrible, bestial form. But she didn't leave._

* * *

_Her bright blue eyes...they were there, over the fire, after Kodlak died._

* * *

_They were there as the boy knelt over the girl's body, believing her dead for the second time. He felt a pain like no other consuming him._

* * *

_And...they were there now._

* * *

Farkas' eyes flew open.

* * *

My heart nearly stopped. He was staring up at me with a fire burning in his eyes I'd never seen before. "Kat." He gasped, before wrenching me against his body and pressing his lips to mine.

Emotions exploded inside me. My mind was a blur. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled away.

"Katja." A tear glinted in the corner of his eye. "I never forgot about you. I wanted to run to you every time I saw you, but I feared that I would let the beast within consume me. I could never bear hurting you. But that first time I saw you, beneath the Gildergreen, I knew that I didn't fight for my family, or my shield-siblings. I found for you. Your flaming hair is the fire that burns in me, that keeps me going, that I hope will never be extinguished. I still see, in my darkest nightmares, your house burning, and you trapped behind the fire. I thought that nothing could be worse than. But then I saw you lying there after that monster attacked you. You were still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I never want to lose you, Kat." His lips were at my neck, sucking at the nape. His breath sent a wave of desire coursing through me. "I love you, more than my heart can comprehend. I've watched you, all these years, and wanted to tell you, but the animal in me wanted you too, and I could never, ever let myself hurt you." His mouth was at my ear, his teeth grazing the lobe. "You, you tiny human, that can fit between my finger and thumb. I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, and kissed him. A wild passion erupted in me, and I pulled him against me, feeling the heat radiate off his body.

He gave a small, husky chuckle as my lips trailed down his chest. "Suddenly, I'm very aware that I'm lying on a bed wearing almost nothing." I smiled before blowing out the candle.


End file.
